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| From valorie-knitter-with-an-o |
She has the opportunity to thrive in a beautiful, diverse, yet comfortingly southern city.
She is adjusting to being away and living with a roommate she just met the day of move in.
She is doing great.
Me...not so much.
Huge life moment. Lots and lots and lots of memories. She was a baby just the other day, wearing her daddy's tie and my high heels.
She was "too little to ride the school bus.
She just came and told me "Mommy, I don't want you to freak out....,(freak out start in progress......but I just started my period." freak out aborted.... inward sigh and giggle.
We watch Food TVafter school and take a nap in the late afternoon sun.
We talk when she gets home late at night when her daddy is already in bed.
I know she is not gone forever.
I KNOW that it's only a short nine weeks before she's home again.
I KNOW she's not *that* far away.
I KNOW that I haven't lost my little girl. I KNOW!!!!
But, our lives have changed, we have come to a transition time of our lives, and while that IS A GOOD THING, it is a different thing and my heart hurts.
Because what was will never be again.
What will be has all the possibilities, potential and wonder of the new. What was was wonderful, blessed, cherished (even in the less than stellar times) and unique. And will not be again. That is what I am feeling the loss of.
It hurts really, really, really, really bad.
What I KNOW and what I FEEL are not compatible at all.
Mommys & Daddys, those babies grow up really, really, really fast. Hug your girls for me, please. Kiss them as they sleep every chance you get.
I'll be okay, I promise. I know who holds me and Nat.
I will be fine.
But not just yet.
Right now I just want my baby home with me.
