Doctor Who theology

We hear often that we shouldn't try to put God in a box.....





But, but, but wait!!!!!  What about this box?

Still, even so, I don't believe we could or should even try, to put God in any box, not even this one....


And yet, 

and yet.....

hold on a sec,





I KNOW!












What if God is the box......

and it is, as we know......












Well, I don't have to tell you the answer to that!!!!*




Whoa! All of space and time - very approachable, yet vast.  

Hmm.  
























*my apologies to non-Whovians.  The answer is "BIGGER ON THE INSIDE!"

Today....

"The stars aligned."
"Things just seemed to work out."
"It was an eerie coincident that happened."
"God was at work."

Which of these statements meet the least resistance in your heart and mind?  You hear people say the first 3 quite often. It's a way they explain good fortune, the near miss that could have been disastrous, a chance meeting that led to something bigger- you know what I'm talking about.  But you don't hear people say that last as often in relation to those things.

And even if you do, what does that mean anyway?  God only works occasionally?  When things happen like that you know God on the job?

Well, that's about as far from my understanding of God as it gets.

What about "God is at work - always?"

That's a little better, but there's an idea, something not-quite-ordinary, that we are trying to convey when we make these sorts of statements.  Simply saying "God is at work - always," while making quite a statement in and of itself, is not the idea I'm after.

Perhaps I should just say "like always, God has been at work, and I just happened to notice."

Ah.

"....and I just happened to noticed and was amazed and humbled and lifted up, strengthened, blessed, encouraged.

Hmm. I received all that simply by recognizing God at work, noticing just a small, tiny, weensy bit of God doing what God does all the time. 


I can honestly say that I've never said "The stars aligned and I was amazed and humbled, etc., etc."

But, today, today....

Today, God was at work.

Too, too sweet!

Photo(s) for today -- the sweetest, most adorable babies in the world!

Sweetie Xander

Beautiful Evanly

Photos for 1/17/2011

Photo for 1/16/2011

So long, dear sweet Marvaleen!

Photos for 1/15/2011

The snow in the backyard, 6 days later

Lamps; photo for 1/14

I sometimes think we are like these lamps - not just that we have the capacity to give off light, given that we have sufficient power, and the proper illuminating device (i.e, light bulbs), but that, unlit, unpowered, when gathered en masse, we appear pleasing, colorful and striking, even if we are mostly alike.  

But, upon closer inspection, some of us are a little banged up, a bit crinkled, but standing tall nonetheless!

Personally, I want to be this one!

Crystal Ball Lamp

Photo for 1/13/2011

Bella in knitwear!

I think she does my shawlette justice!  She, on the other hand, does not appreciate fine knitwear!  LOL!

Photo for 1/12/2011

Evening through the bedroom

yet more evidence that I am truly a geek

Meet Marvaleen -- she's a garden snowwoman -- she has garlic chive hair, lavender scarf, rose hip buttons, rose bush arms, and dried mum flower eyes.

She was loads of fun to make.

Marvaleen, the Snow Woman

Rainbow

Last Friday (1/7/11) Nat and I were leaving the grocery store; the weather had been threatening all day, dark, grey clouds, hanging low and ominous, but no rain had come yet, and there was the most beautiful full rainbow in the sky right in front of us. While we have had the wonderful privilege of seeing rainbows before, they are always so special and this was no different.  We loaded the car and headed north on Hixson Pike for home.  Hixson Pike makes a pretty significant turn in direction between Publix and our house and as we were headed more northbound, the rainbow was first to our left and then directly in front of us -- and I do mean DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF US!

As we continued on, we realized that we could see the end of the rainbow on the street ahead of us -- and, yes, we certainly were looking for the leprechaun and pot of gold!











We then realized we were going to drive THROUGH the rainbow, literally!

It was surreal -- because as we got closer and closer, of course the rainbow disappeared.

And you can't turn around and see it behind you either!

It was a unforgettable experience we shared, one that I will cherish always.

All Hallows Eve

It has been an absolutely beautiful fall day. The temperature started about mid-40's and made it to mid-70's. The sky was blue with wisps of white clouds, the sun was bright but lower in the sky than summer and there are still leaves shining with their last glorious gasps of color.

In Sunday school this morning, I shared my memory of years ago when we first moved to Chattanooga - Nathan was in first grade, and we lived in some apartments over on Mountain Creek Road.  We were walking on the track at the old Red Bank Elementary school (it had a playground for Nathan to play on that we could see while we walked).  It was in the fall -- cool, brisk, but still sunny.  There were some older homes to the side of the school and track.  Being an established residential area, there were many full grown trees.  Many of the trees had lost all their leaves, but in particular one huge tree had lost its bright yellow leaves -- they completely covered the yard and the road in front of a home.  An older lady, completely white haired, was in the road, kicking and playing in the leaves. It is one of our most precious shared memories as a couple. It is also a "defining" moment in my life: I want to be that little old lady; not letting age or the coming winter keep her from finding joy in the simple things of this beautiful God given world.

So with that memory freshly renewed and the thoughts of how we are to continually praise God, I knew I needed to get outside and really savor this glorious day.

So I did.

a blink of an eye (again)

Almost a year after the original blog post of this title, the community of friends that composes my life has experienced such a blink -- we have lost a dear one to a terrible accident.  All of the family has not as yet been notified, so I will go into no details, but simply want to share the sorrow and bittersweetness that comes from recognizing the gift of each day -- we have no guarantees--only this moment.

Hug your loved ones.        Tell them.           Smile.

Make it count today.

ch-ch-ch-changes!

"People change when they encounter God in meaningful ways." *

I know what she means -- encountering God can wrought mighty, unbelievable, life-alteringforthebetter-change. 


But what about when you encounter notGod? That can bring about change as well. People change -- and not necessarily for-the-better -- when they encounter evil, don't they?  

Encountering the hard, cold, realities of this world changes a person as well. We are changed by it. Changed by meanness. And cruelty. By simple, unadulterated evil.


But, being changed by what we encounter in life -- isn't that what shapes our lives?  All of our lives? (both in time and aspect sorts of ways). If one were not capable of being changed by what one encounters -- now that would be a cold, hard, ungiving kind of person, I would think.  Not really someone I would enjoy spending tons of time with -- just saying.  


She is saying, I think, that the difference is that when one encounters God in a meaningful way, the change that can happen is always meaningful and good and positive. 


This is contrasted to the change that can happen when we are faced with notGod (evil)  -- that change may or may not be  meaningful, good and positive. It might -- or it might not. 


God -- it is.
notGod -- unknown.


But change -- it's the only constant.  


Hoo, ha, ha,  hoooooo!!!! Tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor!!!!!

*Diana Butler Bass, Spirituality for the Rest of Us.

Fall -- verb and season

I love the autumn of the year.  I have more sense of "new year" during this time than on January 1.  Which is odd; autumn is the time of the year that we see the coming end.  The harvests that have borne all summer are waning. The leaves that have given new growth are tired and on their last legs. The spring blossoms that gave forth fruit are now rotting or gone.

Someone once said that they hated fall -- it was the season of death.  I can see the truth of that -- and I wondered what it said about myself that I felt more alive during the autumn of the year than at any other time.

I have wondered about that many times.

Autumn is, for all intents and purposes, nature's last gasp. One last dance before giving up the ghost.

And I am, by my own declaration, "autumnal."

Hmm.

Make no mistake.

Autumn is full of beauty. And where I live this is (usually) especially true. The mountains can put on a show like nobody's business. The reds and purples and yellows and deep last gasp greens are beyond gorgeous.  The fiery, knock-your-eyes-out-glowing reds of the maples bring a sense of awe and wonder to my heart year after year -- I am thrilled beyond words -each-and-every-single- time I see them.

It doesn't matter that I may be more cynical this year than I was a year ago -- (and that I can be so saddens me more than you will ever know) - or I may have had a gut wrenching lifealteringIdon'tknowifIwillsurvive life event - or I may have even re-discovered love and joy and sense of purpose - no matter what my life has looked for the months preceding -

...........the red and yellow maples always bring me a deep sense of peace and happiness and joy.

I see them and I breathe.

Life is as it should be.

But autumn only means the end is near, right? There is only bleak and drear and no signs of life to come when autumn comes knocking.

Why then do I love autumn? How can a season that foretells such bleakness bring me such joy?

(to be continued)

There is but one life

So, it has been over a half a year since I last posted. Many things have occurred, many changes taken place, tears shed, laughter shared, happiness and sorrow...life has occurred.

My life is not the same as it was then. My life is still my life. The same life. Different, yet same. And in seven months that will still be true, whether I participate fully or simply "let time go by."

So, a new blog title, new blog picture, new focus.

There is but one life, and what we do with it is greatly up to us. I am fortunate in that I have freedom and choice -- I can in large part decide how that life passes. Not all of the human race can say the same.

So, at this time, and for this passage, this is a choice I have made.

Writing is a skill and art I believe I have a modicum of talent in.  It is something I enjoy doing and experiencing. I have no formal training (beyond regular college courses),  and just a smidgen of work experience with it. But I would  like to be much better.

One blog I read, Junebug on a String, the author who by the way inspires me like crazy, had this post, a life lived in hours,  about how if you want to be a master at something, it takes 10 thousand hours of doing it to get there. She talks about how 10 thousand hours will pass -- whether you spend them at what you love doing or not.  She has taken this idea and created a simply beautiful and terribly creative......program, lifestyle, method......I'm not sure exactly how to label what she has done, but regardless, her idea in a nutshell is this: find something you want to be a master at and deliberately and intentionally spend time each day on  it, record it -- on a blog, in a journal, wherever, and share it with others. (including her).

So, this was my inspiration for the change in the blog, for the idea that maybe I could be really good at writing. And that was the thought that was banging around in my head for a week or or more -- no action yet -- just brewing -- and then my spiritual 2 x 4 in flesh sends me a text that says she knows that I write, that I have something worth saying -- what is it that I am going to write?

Mind you, I haven't breathed a word of these thoughts of mine to anyone! Fine, fine, fine -- I hear you!!!!!

So, here is my plan: I will spend time writing each day -- not necessarily here, but much more often (I have seriously cut back on my computer time since Lent, and honestly, I think it has been one of the more healthy choices I've made over the last few months). What I will write about is not limited, but will probably fall into these broad categories: faith, my spiritual life, my family life, nature, silliness.

Today totally counts.

Rainy Tuesday

Today is raining -- again. It's Tuesday -- duh, again. Trying real hard to not let it be a not so good day.  Thinking good thoughts, praying good prayers -- prayers that don't ask so much for my own peace and serenity, but that I might be used to bring those things to others.  To be the hands and feet.  and face.

this i pray.

a blink of an eye

Living means that at some point you learn that lives can change, irrevocably, forever, never to be the same, in the blink of an eye. 


The life you knew is gone. 


Usually these moments are momentous: a sudden death of a loved one; the prognosis of a terrible illness; news of life changing portent.


But sometimes these blinks are not as obviously momentous. 


Your life can change just as radically though.

Tuesdays

I hate Tuesdays.

Three weeks from anywhere....a geographical oddity, heh?

Three weeks into a new life....

They say that it takes three weeks to a make habit a habit.

Three weeks to break a habit, as well.

It evidently takes more than three weeks to make a new life feel right. To find the ebb and flow where you can breathe.

I have had at least one child in my daily life for more than 27 years; I guess it's okay that it is taking more than 3 weeks to get to my new destination. A destination where a child doesn't factor, somehow, into my daily life. Wherever, however that destination may look.

I am lonely.

I am trying really hard to keep busy.

I hurt my back.

I have wonderful friends.

I miss my daughter terribly.

I hate housework (translation -- the cleaning like a fiend manner of dealing does not hit me, damnitalltohell).

The rain has returned -- at least for a good bit of today. Supposed to be gone tomorrow and Sunday, and then will be back on Monday.

I go back to work on Monday. Good thing.

The hot, nasty breath of depression is chasing me like the hound from hell.

It's gaining, folks.

The thing is, even if I could get somewhere in three weeks, I have not a clue as to the destination I would like to arrive at.

I'll try to start with that....

....but no promises.

Life transitions

Just got home from Savannah -- left my girl there.

From valorie-knitter-with-an-o

She's going to one awesome art school that is tailor made for her and her talents and nature and learning style.


She has the opportunity to thrive in a beautiful, diverse, yet comfortingly southern city.


She is adjusting to being away and living with a roommate she just met the day of move in.


She is doing great.


Me...not so much.


Huge life moment. Lots and lots and lots of memories. She was a baby just the other day, wearing her daddy's tie and my high heels.


She was "too little to ride the school bus.


She just came and told me "Mommy, I don't want you to freak out....,(freak out start in progress......but I just started my period." freak out aborted.... inward sigh and giggle.

We watch Food TVafter school and take a nap in the late afternoon sun.

We talk when she gets home late at night when her daddy is already in bed.

I know she is not gone forever. 

I KNOW that it's only a short nine weeks before she's home again. 

I KNOW she's not *that* far away. 

I KNOW that I haven't lost my little girl. I KNOW!!!!

But, our lives have changed, we have come to a transition time of our lives, and while that IS A GOOD THING, it is a different thing and my heart hurts. 

Because what was will never be again. 

What will be has all the possibilities, potential and wonder of the new. What was was wonderful, blessed, cherished (even in the less than stellar times) and unique. And will not be again. That is what I am feeling the loss of.  

It hurts really, really, really, really bad.

What I KNOW and what I FEEL are not compatible at all.

Mommys & Daddys, those babies grow up really, really, really fast. Hug your girls for me, please. Kiss them as they sleep every chance you get.

I'll be okay, I promise. I know who holds me and Nat.

I will be fine.

But not just yet.

Right now I just want my baby home with me.